Holes In Your Face

Dear Son,

I hope to God that by the time you get to Junior High, the facial piercing fad will be over. It's so gross. I just don't get it. How is it that people who want to be taken seriously jam a bolt through their eyebrow?

The really funny thing is that they mutilate themselves, and then whine that people are judging them on "how they look." bizarre. It's not like anyone put a gun to their head. They weren't born that way, unfairly persecuted through no fault of their own. Nope. One day, they woke up and said, "hey, I have a GREAT idea. I'll irrevocably make holes in my face, holes which will ruin any credibility I may have in a serious job interview. It won't make me look any better. In fact, it'll be purposefully repulsive, and I'll be able to claim moral high ground over the Loser Conformists. It will hurt, but it'll be worth it, because then all those other idiots with holes in their face will know how unique I am. Why, I'll be as unique as they are!"

I understand peer pressure. But it takes a special kind of idiot to think this is a good idea.

Facial piercings are bad enough on a fast food clerk (who no doubt blames "The Man" for keeping them down). But when I see it on people in law school, I'm just baffled. Do they NOT want a job? Do they really think that it's somehow "discrimination" to not hire them? Do they not want to be taken seriously in court? I guess pissing off Daddy is more important than having a good job. Morons.

Love, Dad.